There will be NO PICTURES in this report

My friends at home, you do not know what you will miss until it is gone.

 

Please, I beg you, think of us here in China the next time you sit down on a toilet because you will be experiencing something that has become totally foreign to us.

 

For the most part, China is devoid of actual commodes. Instead, we get holes in the ground… often accompanied by a stench that is so pungent even someone with a bursting bladder cannot tolerate it long enough to get relief. Our days have become built around bathroom breaks at bathrooms that are tolerable to an American. We sometimes divert off-course to find a hotel or other establishment that has a public washroom the women on the trip can use (the guys, with our larger bladders and ability to pee standing up have not complained at all about the facilities).

 

You may wonder why I am writing about this, but I am completely serious when I say that this has, at times, been a major issue on the trip. We have gotten to the point where all bathroom facilities are rated on a 1 to 10 scale. Women often come back from a bathroom break announcing “it was a 3 or maybe a 4” so the other women can gauge whether to risk a squat. I am sad to report that there have been far more “2s” than “5s.” I don’t think we’ve seen anything higher than a 6 or 7 outside of our hotel rooms, that’s for sure.

 

In case any of you dare to wonder what a “2” could be, someone came out of a bathroom at a tourist place the other day and said, “DO NOT GO IN THERE! It is not even a hole in the ground, it is just a trench!” Actually, a trench is more like a 1.5

 

Xiao Fei told us a story about a woman on another tour who was using the facilities in one place that had a 60-foot hole that served as a toilet. The woman dropped her camera down into the hole. She went up to her guide and asked if there was any way to get it out. We all cracked up at that one. A little toilet humor is sometimes a good thing ;)